Dex, Lies and Holotape
by Jemmiah
Summary: The most haunted house on Coruscant, suspicious biscuit tins and possessed lightsabres...who could ask for more?


**Dex, Lies and Holotape**

By Jemmiah

"This is the last will and testament of Dex Berlingside." The young voice declared with wavering trepidation. "And whatever happens to me, I want this to get back to my master so that he can see that I spent my last moments before joining the force with dignity and calm."

The room was dark, save for the green glow of Qui-Gon Jinn's lightsabre: currently the only working source of light in the building. Glowsticks brought for the specific use of providing vision mysteriously refused to do their job. Lightsabres steadfastly continued to cut out at inopportune moments and then reactivate when least expected, a fact which had nearly led to Padawan Jinn accidentally disembowelling the young Sal-Fina Falmar. She had escaped death by a fraction when a giant spider had landed on her head thus causing her to jump screaming to one side, narrowly avoiding the deadly, searing green blade.

Sal-Fina wasn't talking to Qui-Gon anymore, or indeed anyone, a fact that had come as a distinct relief. There was only so much of an eight-year-olds constant whining about the lack of food and bathroom facilities a person could reasonably take…

Still, Dex reflected, even Sal-Fina's whinging would be a welcome distraction now. Anything to divert him from the almost certain gruesome death which awaited. He willed his shaking hands to steady the holocam and did a brief sweep of the room. There, hugging his knees in quiet contemplation was Qui-Gon, his strong features and deep brows illuminated by the column of light from his sabre that had been entrusted to Gilda Amaline after the great spider fiasco. Why Sal-Fina thought she would be any safer from Gilda was a bit of a mystery, as Gilda's opinion of Sal-Fina was not especially high, but tensions were now running high within the little group and Qui-Gon had, either through guilt or for the sake of a quiet life, handed over his weapon with little protest.

Gilda for her part frowned over at the corner of the room to where Vernice Ashdal paced the floor like a trapped animal in a cage, clearly begging their rescuers to hurry and locate them. Always one for action, the thought of being cooped up was driving the adventurous, newly padawaned Jedi to the point of distraction. Or maybe, Dex wondered as he followed Gilda's gaze, she was wondering what would happen when their masters found out what they had done.

They were sure to be punished. An apprentice, sneaking out of the temple against his or her master's wishes in the dead of night because of a silly dare was inevitably going to face the consequences when caught. And sooner or later somebody would realise they had all disappeared without trace. Probably Yoda, when he shuffled into Qui-Gon's room in the morning and saw thatthe beloved apprentice hadn't so much as laid his head on the pillow.

Would they be able to locate them? Could they, through the force, pick up on where they now found themselves entombed in a half-collapsed, structurally unsound, deserted old building in the run down, lower slums of Coruscant?

All because they had dared each other to spend the night inside the so-called 'most haunted building' on the planet…

An eerie crunching noise assailed Dex's ears from the right hand corner of the room, and the youngster found himself swallowing back a large lump in his throat. If only it had been something as simple as a ghost! Spectral apparitions and supernatural phenomena were one thing but this was a most unpleasant and sinister presence, one that Dex was frankly afraid of.

"Fear is of the darkside." Berlingside muttered, trying to zoom in on the shadowy blur in the corner from where the crunching sound emanated. "But I'm telling you…it's pretty darned scary in here! I've seen some stuff that would make you turn green…unless you were Yoda of course. I dunno, I s'pose he'd turn some other colour. It's so cold in here too! You just wouldn't believe how cold it is. There's definitely some evil presence lurking in this building, and I'm not just talking about Sal-Fina either! Nobody believed me when I said this building was haunted but I bet they're all thinking twice about it now!"

Green, wide eyes stared directly into the holocam now held up infront of the face, shaking fingers causing the cam to waver about.

"Things are getting_really _spooky. The lights keep on going out for some reason I can't work out. Lightsabres have been shorting for no reason at all. The place is damp and miserable and Qui-Gon is snoring in the corner so it's almost like being back in the crèche again."

"I'm not snoring!" An indignant voice retorted instantly. "I'm meditating!"

"One leads to the other." Dex mumbled, his ears automatically drawn to the crisp, crunching sound from the corner. "Although I could do with meditating right now. I'm a bundle of nerves. But if I'm gonna die then I'm not going to do it on my knees!"

"_You'd_ want to die with your head down Master Sheedi's bosom." Gilda replied laconically, holding the lightsabre aloft as if their lives depended upon it. "Anyhow, you should calm down. We're not going to die. Not unless the growling from Mace's stomach causes the building to collapse further. Or until our masters catch up with us." She smiled nastily, even whilst knowing she was as much in trouble as her fellow partners in crime. "_Then_ we'll die."

Dex found his mouth very dry. Quirida-Xac was notoriously soft going for a master and didn't particularly believe in punishment, but something like this that put his padawan's life at risk for the sake of a silly game would not be looked on in an amused light. Berlingside once more found his arms shivering, and this time there was no blaming the damp or the cold.

"This seemed like such a good idea at the time." He sighed, staring into the holocam with pleading eyes. "We never expected we might get hurt or cause any damage. I guess we just didn't think it through at all. Gilda thought it would be a good way to get results on her study of the paranormal. Vernice wanted to come because she fancies me." He waved away the squeal of protest that answered his declaration. "Qui-Gon and Mace dared each other into going, coz they didn't want to be seen as scardy-nerfs. I thought it would be a bit of a laugh." Dex shrugged unseen by the cam. "And Sal-Fina said she'd tell on us if we didn't let her tag along." He stopped, and stared unblinkingly at the corner of the room.

There it was again. That infernal crunching sound.

"I'll be she wishes she hadn't bothered trying to blackmail us. Ten minutes after we arrived two ancient crossed-swords launched themselves off the wall at her. I've no idea why anything would want to do that…unless they were trying to kill her or something."

The sound of hysterical crying could be heard drifting from the back of the dark room.

"And that old out of tune Pianola kept following her round the room upstairs. Not how musical instruments normally behave if you ask me. Fortunately it's shut up since we got trapped down here. All that clumping around and twanging was getting on my nerves. When I get back to the temple I'm locking myself in my bedroom for the next ten years. Except maybe to go to the fresher."

Dex took a deep breath and somehow found the strength to carry on.

"There's no water or food here, because I rather foolishly forgot to bring it. I think the others were contemplating eating me for a while seeing as how it was my fault, but Vernice agreed that it would be a tragic waste to all the girls in the temple who wouldn't be able to admire me when I grew up." This time he grinned at the outraged yelp of protest from the continually pacing Vernice. "As to the food situation, we all lost our appetites some time ago after we nearly got crushed when the roof started falling in. All except for Mace who was still moaning about having nothing to eat. I told him I didn't know how he could eat at a time like this, but he looked at me like I was a nerf short of a barbecue. That's why I gave him the biscuit tin…"

Dex listened as the crunching pointedly slowed down, almost as if the perpetrator was taking a keen interest in what was being said.

"I mean, it wasn't a _total_ lie…it _was_ a biscuit tin! And it _did_ have biscuits in it…once. But I have to admit that I took a bit of a sneaky peek in there before my lightsabre shorted out."

Berlingside noticed the crunching noise how now completely ceased.

"I guess that's what you get for being a Gamorrean and hogging the tin for yourself. Not that I would have wanted the others to eat dead roaches…"

With a soft gulp Dex found himself looking back towards the corner of the room, which was filled with a dreadful, deathly silence.

"So, now that I've confessed my sins I guess I can die with a clear conscience." He laughed weakly, aware of the outraged presence that was stalking him from across the room. Dex looked back over his shoulder. "I hate to be the one to say this but I've got a bad fe-"

_Tzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

And with that Dex's holocam went dead.


End file.
